Happy 2014! I’m a couple days late but not really because there are still like 362 days left in 2014 so I have plenty of time.
Twenty-fourteen has treated me well so far. I rang it in with a special yoga class consisting of asana, meditation, and singing. Afterward, we all convened at Coco’s Lebanese restaurant to drink champagne, eat hor d’oeuvres, dance, and take cellphone selfies. It sounds fancy because it was. We even made twelve wishes as we ate twelve grapes from a kabob at the stroke of midnight, which is a thing, apparently. On New Year’s Day I had big plans to sit down with Whitney to create an elaborate budget and set goals for the new year, but when it came down to do it, we were more inspired to watch JT on Ellen and Beyonce on Netflix as we napped on the couch under the afghan my momma crocheted (which is heavy and warm and makes me feel like I’m getting a hug from my momma when I use it). I think it was an appropriate way to spend the day. I made a fancy dinner of chicken thighs with red wine vinegar, smashed red potatoes, and a side of cabbage with goat’s cheese and garlic butter (for good luck, and also because I had some cabbage to get rid of and was craving goat cheese). April contributed some tasty rolls and we drank the remainder of a bottle of red, despite the fact that one of our resolutions for January was to be no alcohol (can’t let an open bottle go to waste). We finished New Year’s Day watching Youtube “true facts” and cat videos. All in all, an eventful and satisfying way to bring in another year.
In all seriousness, though, I’ve been considering goals and the future a bit lately (as we do when a new beginning comes around), and it overwhelms me if I let myself do it too much. I think there is great value in goal setting and vision planning, but for me, there needs to be a balance. Some personalities really thrive on making plans, but I don’t. I get too obsessive and that leads to dissatisfaction with the current moment or my perceived abilities. I start thinking about all these things I could be doing or ways I should be and forget about how f*cking awesome my life is or how great I am right now. For me, it’s difficult to imagine what I want to be like in 10 or 20 years. It’s difficult to imagine myself ONE year from now. I fear that by visualizing what I think I might want (which I’m clueless about int the first place), I’m limiting myself. I’m twenty-six right now and if you would have asked me to describe what I wanted at twenty-six when I was sixteen, I doubt I would have described anywhere close to the life I’m currently living or the person I currently am. It’s impossible to know what I’ll find important or desire in a decade. There are so many variables and possibilities. I do find it valuable to consider the type of person I’d like to be in ten years, though. I can’t tell you if I’ll have or want kids, be married, live in America, make X amount of money, work X career….all of those desires could change/have changed several times over. What I do know is that I’d like to be my happiest, truest, healthiest self, have invaluable memories and experiences, and love, learn, and create lots. There’s nothing real tangible about those as goals. I struggle with thinking that I’m viewed as unmotivated or immature because I’m not earnestly, intentionally working toward something conventional (career/family/etc). That worry never lasts too long, but it is there. What I take away from all of it is to do everything I can right now to be happy, true, and healthy, to make memories and have experiences, and to love, learn, and create a lot. I wrote in my journal this morning that if I make an effort to do those things every day, my future will take care of itself–it always has and will continue to do so! For now this is enough for me and feels pretty liberating. I could say that I AM earnestly, intentionally working toward being my best self and living my most fulfilling life, and perhaps a year from now my life will take a more concrete direction and I’ll be able to set those more tangible goals… I’m certainly open to whatever comes about on my journey!
Enough about all that. Let’s talk about other stuff.
I’m reading Wild by Cheryl Strayed (which doesn’t help with my aching wanderlust). It’s a really great read. I love reading a good story, and this one is about her trekking the Pacific Crest Trail as a way to heal herself from a pretty shitty hand in life. I definitely recommend it. She writes in a way that makes you feel like you’re on the journey yourself.
I’ve also been a little bit obsessed with the new Beyonce album this week. I picked it up impulsively at Starbucks (because I had a gift card) and was super impressed by it. Each song is unique, and I’m just really interested in the creative process that she goes through. Many might argue that she’s just another prefabricated, superficial, pop star, and that’s fine, but I’d disagree. There’s a depth to her music and her performing that is missing in most mainstream music (and have you seen her dance?!). You might not like the type of music she creates (and this particular album is very sexually charged, so it might be even less your taste,) but I think it would be hard to argue the talent of Queen B. Anyway, I’ve woken up with the same song stuck in my head the last three mornings so that means she did something right I suppose.
SoNA starts soon…I’m excited to start singing again. We’re doing Brahm’s Requiem this year.
We’re opening a new Yoga Deza location in Bentonville! More classes, more community… I’m excited to be a part of it.
I’m going to a Sweat Lodge Ceremony at the Shala this weekend… I’ve never done anything like it, and I’m really looking forward to the experience.
Contemplating joining a painting class a student of mine teaches…. do you all think I have the time? ;)
It’s about noon now which means I should probably shower, so I’ll end this thing with my New Year’s top-ten to-do list:
10. Start using capital letters.
9. Blog weekly.
8. Practice moderation (spending, eating, exercising, etc).
7. One drink limit if driving (this should go without saying).
6. No social media before noon (and moderately thereafter).
5. New camera and website for photography work.
4. Advance my teacher training at Circle Yoga Shala.
3. Read more books (and National Geographics and other good magazines).
2. Meditate and journal daily.
1. Do whatever makes me my happiest, truest, healthiest self in each moment, daily.